Let’s face it, it can be hard to be optimistic and look for the silver lining in the midst of a broken marriage. I remember struggling just to get through the day however time does have a way of changing all that.
When you can’t see past the pain and find yourself in darkness of your present moments, it really is an opportunity for you to stretch and grow in ways that you can’t even imagine. Life is opening a door and inviting you to walk through to the other side of self-discovery and empowerment.
I remember the feelings of being lost, hurt, alone, overwhelmed as if l don’t know how to stand on my own anymore. At the time, immersed in my rubble, l was focused on getting through each day, just trying to survive each moment and make sure that my children had everything they needed. There wasn’t enough time or energy to invest in tomorrow. All l focused on was a bottomless well of grief and my dream of a loving partner and happy family shattered.
At first, survival is all you can focus on. Trying to put the pieces of your life together. Going through the motions of braving through every day. As months passed, and l began to settle into my own life, l began to experience moments were l felt safe and free. I began to appreciate my newfound security and freedom not having to go home to a house that was drowning in guilt and torment. Not having to tiptoe around, being afraid that l may provoke an outburst.
These moments of freedom, started with seconds of being present in a moment, being free to play, to laugh and to be myself. Allowing glimpses of light to flow through, embracing moments to begin to open wounds, dig deep and discover inner resources that l didn’t know l had. I began on a journey of self-discovery and inner growth.
If l could look deep within you, l’m telling you it truly will be okay. Life is giving you another experience that will test you, challenge you and give you the opportunity to rise above and shine. I see you.
What did l learn?
Stretch Beyond The Familiar
I learnt that l needed room to grow. A new space to explore who l am – my thoughts, feelings and beliefs. I needed to stretch past boundaries of what l knew was in my relationship and redefine what a new space looked like for me.
Breaking My Own Rules
I had to let go of people’s expectations about what my life should be, including my own rules. There is so much possibility when we remove the expectations. Starting over gave me an opportunity to set new standards and design a life on my terms. It was hard, scary but a choice l had to make for me.
Letting go of it all.
Friendships come and go and l needed to start from fresh. When a house gets damaged by fire, you don’t just start building on top, you remove the debris and rebuild the foundation. When you let go, start building block by block, you find you. Isn’t that worth it.