Be prepared, communicate and never assume!
If you have a written Parenting Plan or a set of Parenting Consent Orders, then you have most likely already negotiated and agreed to special days and arrangements for the term and long summer holidays. If drafted well, those arrangements should be clear and concise – easy.
However, what if your Parenting Plan or Consent Orders aren’t clear and are open for interpretation? Perhaps you’re newly separated? Maybe, you simply have relied on verbal agreements as communication with your ex is pretty good.
Discussions
Whatever the case, things change and life gets in the way. Unless you have attempted a discussion around special days and holidays, you should never just assume things will fall into place.
Think Practically
For occasions such as Christmas or other special religious or cultural days, it is important for your kids to share those days with both their parents and extended families. Think about how that can be achieved and also the logistics involved. Perhaps your family celebrates Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day or one of you have a traditional large family gathering for Christmas dinner? Look at all options and consider what works best for all involved.
Respect and Clear Communication
The key to successful co-parenting is open, respectful and clear communication. Now that you have separated, you and your ex need to start thinking and communicating differently. Think about what is in your kids’ best interests – remember they have all the rights. As parents, you have responsibilities and obligations. Put your differences aside and set aside any hurt or anger you may be feeling. Keep your communications devoid of emotion and business-like in tone and manner. Offer options or alternatives rather than making demands. Don’t “sweat the small stuff” and focus on outcomes. Always consider compromise as this will be key for you both to reach an agreement.
Whilst this all sounds good in theory, sometimes special days and holiday negotiations take considerable effort and sometimes remain unresolved. There may be times when you need a third party to assist like a mediator or a family lawyer to provide some legal advice around your options and next steps.
Whatever position you find yourself in, remain focused on your kids so as to ensure the best possible holiday season for your family.