Mediation is a word you hear when you enter the separation sphere and honestly it can be very daunting. Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution that requires yourself and the other party to negotiate an outcome. This is done with a third party in the room who is called the mediator. The mediator is there to guide the negotiations and to help facilitate a healthy environment to achieve a positive outcome. We have developed 5 tips we believe can help you make the most out of your Mediation process.
TIP NUMBER ONE: COME IN WITH AN OPEN MIND
Mediation will not work if you are not prepared to compromise. Try and write down what your ideal scenario is walking into mediation and then write down a second or third option. These options may involve compromises you are willing to make in order to reach an agreement. We know no one likes to compromise but it is important to go into mediation with this outlook as it allows for a healthy flow of conversation.
TIP NUMBER TWO: COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Communication is key in achieving a successful outcome in mediation. Think about how you would like to be spoken to and let that guide how you speak to the other party. Animosity and accusatory language are a barrier in reaching an agreement in mediation. Before you attend your mediation try and come up with ways to handle your emotions if you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated. You may want to ask the mediator for a break. You can also address how you are feeling to the mediator and your ex-partner and explain why you are feeling the way you do.
TIP NUMBER THREE: HAVE AN IDEA OF THE KEY ISSUES
What are the key issues you feel are involved in your matter? Write these down on a notepad and next to them write why they are important and what you hope to achieve in this mediation in relation to these issues. It is important to go into mediation and have a think of what the key issues are in your relationship and/or matter, so you are prepared to address them on the day.
TIP NUMBER FOUR: PREPARE FOR THE KEY ISSUES THE OTHER PARTY MAY HAVE
You know what the key issues are for yourself but what about your ex-partner? Write down what you think their key issues are and see if any are the same. Then similarly as you did above, write down why these issues may be important to them. It is important to try and understand what your ex-partner wants so you can see where you may be able to reach an agreement.
TIP NUMBER FIVE: IT IS NOT ABOUT WINNING
Mediation is not about winning it is about coming to an agreement. There is no point in going into a mediation with an ‘’it’s my way or the highway’’ attitude. You will not reach a compromise and you might feel deflated that you went through the process without an outcome. For mediation to be successful you must come into it with an open mind, positive attitude and be willing to listen.